Gnawing (2022)

Where Eras End

An obsidian monolith
Rifts in time
Light is crumbling
Skies divide

The fabric of reality is torn
All logic gone and forgotten
Illusions well and truly shattered
Memories seem like a cruel joke, a cheap trick played by our conscience

A monstrous charnel house stands as a threat, overshadowing the land
The surrounding boneyard housing mountains of grime and the tombs are crammed
Aeons have taken their toll. The scent of death from the pyres alight brings out primal fears, not memories of the comfort it may provide

A misshapen mass of architecture colours the distance
A hue of blood, canvas of unbearable grief
Beauty lurks in every corner.
God is an artist. This is his masterpiece.

Cacophonies of repulsive laughter as the soundscape
Hellish creatures tend the grounds and care for the needy
There is no solace where no man treads, angels fornicate and demons pray
In some ways strangely quiet, peaceful, full of grace

One With Nothing

There was a time
I possessed all my senses
Ruled my domain
I cling to remembrance

Now all has changed
Just part of some game
See no colour
Have no name

I have given up myself
My life is a compromise
The fog has devoured everything
I see myself cornered, my disregard blithe

I remember precisely, like yesterday
Or so I believe
I remember the sensation
How it soothed and relieved

Once it was a nightmare
A dystopia I abhorred
Oh how foolish, how magnificent
The irony that this is my one true call

I write these last words as I see myself vanish
The mist claims me
I am finally free

The Gift You Gave

From the moment the child embarks on his journey down the river of life, the roar of death’s waterfall fills the valley, always nearer and nearer; it gnaws, gnaws at the child’s happiness. Man looks out over the earth, and it breathes like a great lung; when it exhales, delicate and graceful life teems out of its pores, and all the creatures stretch out their arms to the sun; but when it takes in its breath, a rustle of fragile spirits breaking sweeps through the multitudes, and their corpses lash the ground like showers of hail.

Brought from nil into the light
Became a secular vice
The billionth miracle I am
Sunkissed and baptised

Flung into earthly delights
Clung to the dawn in my sight
Blinded I now stand
My home I benight

Deflowered, the years took their toll
Washed you up, buried you beneath soil
Macerated your skin and bones
Created a dream for you, and you alone

Deflowered, the years took their toll
Washed me up, buried me beneath soil
Macerated my skin and bones
Created a nightmare for me, and me alone

Indoctrinated
Alleviated
Assuaged
Downplayed

Isolation
Sublimation
Diversion
Connection

It was passed through generations, father and son
Lit up your whole life and made you your home
Now time has elapsed, the torch passed onto me
The fire has engulfed me, hurt me, broken my zeal

At first, I held it in highest esteem
Cradled and guarded it like my own flesh and blood
A miracle unparalleled, a blessing from a god
As this boon enlightens my soul
It escalated far beyond my control

As I latch onto your breast
Your essence shrivelled, parched and famished
Your lifeblood exhausted
Your breath waning, your joy vanished

As you latch onto my breast
My essence shrivelled, parched and famished
My lifeblood exhausted 

My breath waning, my joy vanished

He sees his genesis in his mother’s womb, he holds out his hand and sees that it has five branches. Where does this accursed five come from, and what does that have to do with his soul? He is no longer simply at one with himself; in terror he touches his body: this is you and you extend so far, and no farther. He carries a meal inside himself, yesterday it was an animal running freely about by its own will, now he is absorbing it, making it a part of himself; where does he begin and where does he end? Things blend into each other in sequences of cause and effect, and everything he tries to seize and hold dissolves before his probing thoughts.

Soon he sees mechanics behind everything. At last, the nature of things is only his own nature, nothing exists but himself, every road winds back to himself, the world is but a ghostly echo of his own voice—he leaps up with a shriek and wants to vomit himself onto the earth, together with his foul meal, he feels insanity approaching...

Life in a hearse
Kill yourself to break this curse

Life in a hearse

Kill yourself to break this curse

Burgeoning

Nightfall has embraced me
I long for the day
I wish I never knew it
Nightfall has clasped
I long for the day
Oh, how wish I never knew it
These thorns I bear
These thorns I bear in hope to be carried away

She came to me at night, enticed me with her smile
Her red lips vexed and haunted me for quite a while
Arms stretch out, her silky hands bless me with her touch
I am hers now, I am but a plaything to a god

We have entwined, I sing unto her an ode to cherish her grace
My kindred spirit, sole true love
The one thing I prize and crave

We embrace, your skin so warm
It soothes my soul
Your grasp so firm, makes us whole
We coil and dance through the night
Bellow unto the moon
Its light reaches me, calls me, claws me away from you

I yearn for you, my precious queen
My lust has driven me mad
I scream and beg, thrash and writhe
Shriek until my lungs disperse

My body contorts, my pain beyond words
Yet I cannot bawl
My face a mockery, a sick jest
Humanity a buried thought

Consciousness subsides
For you, an abhorrent sight
A festival of rape and gore
Now you are with me, my lady and whore

The Yearning

There is nothing here
It is as crystal clear as the purest of waters, yet the constant awareness never fails to enfeeble me

In the end, death unites us
In the end, all are alone
I gather my strength
Tear flesh from bone

In the end, death unites us
In the end, all are alone
I gather my strength
Tear flesh from bone

One cannot fathom the horrors that await. Omnipresent
The overwhelming magnitude of the curses that were granted

A coliseum of ruthless visages
A circus of heartless schadenfreude
The glass that is my ebullience splinters. Its shards tear my skin apart. Bleed out the dross, but never cease

In the end, death unites us
In the end, all are alone
I gather my strength
Tear flesh from bone

In the end, death unites us
In the end, all are alone
I gather my strength
Tear flesh from bone

The Final Request

Her stare pierced through me
Her stony figure stirred my spirits
The heretics are slaughtered
Their blood as sacrifice with their throats slit

The marble screamed my name
Took me to a sacred place
Beautiful cliffs, lush pastures
Alluring isles upon deep blue lakes

But your grace cannot hold me forever
I was taken aback, torn from your heaven

Sirens once occupied this entire domain
Where now utter silence remains
Ancient poems, forlorn tales
Enchanting ballads to escape life's maze

O Goddess of time and space
Nary a scholar has forgotten thee
Now be praised and grant my plea
Let it be undone what has come to be
The ice has thawed, your reign restored
My devotion as your life force
So seek what thou wilt and take it from me
And forever I'll honour and forever I'll kneel

O Goddess of time and space
Come sulphurous angels and ethereal demons
All beauty shall fade and all men must die
Like old gods spawned from a titan's seed
Thy wheels and cogs grind bones to dust
They move what was thought to last
I'll flow with the wind and hallow thy name
So give unto me what I failed to craft

The morning sun came to cleanse my skin
To scourge the wickedness and forgive the sins
My flogging futile, my scars burnt
The guilt too vast for my mind to carry

So for pain my flesh years

Her stare pierced through me
My failures clouding and drawing her grimace
Her dismay stings my soul
Leaving me doomed to become more committed

Thorns follow her voice
Leave me no choice
Enter my skin
Through you I reach redemption

Sirens once occupied this entire domain
Where now utter silence remains
Whatever hardship I may face
I know, deep down, I don't have it in me

O Goddess of time and space
Entities died thought to be divine
Vultures may come and feast on earthly remains
Yet absolution in your presence we find
The flesh is weak, the soul is foul
Inscribed on me, divine design
So I take solace beneath thy wings
And beg that thou may grant me life

Waterbound (2023)

 Oath of Humiliation

I stand by the river where we once met and listen to all that surrounds
The water is mute, the flow still resounds
Shaken from my trance, eyes fixed on the stream
Curling water forms what I can’t stand to see
Once again, my flight begins

The memories that connect us seem like a mere dream
Seeping into our lives by strange, foreign means
The shame this causes shakes me to my very core
And makes me curse you and this oath I once swore

Nibbling little leeches are trapped in my flesh
Growing fat and old, feeding on my distress
My agony and sins

The memories that connect us seem like a mere dream
Seeping into our lives by strange, foreign means
The shame this causes shakes me to my very core
And makes me curse you and this oath I once swore

The rustling of the leaves, a song of the woods
A tune ingrained in me, a hymn to ash and soot
An ancient prayer once conceived for our cruel Lord above
Now a testament to my undying love

Ashes to ash
And dust to dust
Come hither, smite
All those who lost
Their faith in jaws
Of Temptation
And save the sickly
Souls again

Oh Lord
Why didst thou create us feeble men?
Mere slaves to love and torment
Hate flows like blood in our veins
Life in eternal punishment

The memories that connect us seem like a mere dream
Seeping into our lives by strange, foreign means
The shame this causes shakes me to my very core
And makes me curse you and this oath I once swore

The wind hums a melody while the dance goes on
Sudden awakening, I burst into song
The shame I feel lingers on and slows me down
I am chained forever, please take this vow

 Stagnant Oceans

I search for my reflection in the silent, calm sea
Sullied colours and vermin stare back at me
The purity of the waters was soiled with ease
The cleansing of the flow and stream has ceased

All departing floods were clogged with mud
Surrounding dams and dunes of muck

My vantage point sinks, I’m knee deep in the broth
I wade through the insects and eels and feel comfort in their touch

The constant cycle of life and death bores me to tears
Unfazed by all marvels that may appear

I breath the air with unique bliss
Absorb the music of the serpents’ hiss
The cosmic ballet continues with the sun
The death of planets: a spectacle for our sons

The pulse that sustains the earth alters its course
While the ooze, forming a bracing floe, carries me forevermore

The drifting isle sinks, I’m lying in the broth
I dream ‘midst the insects and eels and feel comfort in their touch

A Voice in the Storm

Lying in barren fields of grey
The storm rumbles, I hear an ominous sound
Forms and misshapes my bed of clay
Whips and pushes all around

The sun hides its fire
The moon lifts its veil
The day turns to mire
The storm turns to hate

The dwellers of the night lie dormant
The beings of light asleep
Caught in this pandemonium
A constant reminder of my deeds

Rain dampens the soil
Lightning strikes the trees
The forest burns like oil
Disturbs what lived beneath

All pleasantries lie dormant
Serenity asleep
Caught in this pandemonium
Incessant reminders of my deeds
The vitriol no longer dormant
Guardian spirits asleep
Caught in this pandemonium
The cardinal trophy for my deeds

A soothing voice amidst this horrible gale resonates in this room
Soon drowned out by the thundering noise that prevails in the gloom
I pass my remaining days and nights to find my muse
Lest I will forget the beautiful view I once knew

A cycle, a cycle, a vicious cycle...

Hypothermia

A sting of broken white
Sown into the past, almost beautiful
The new horizon speaks
Comforts and relieves, more than sensible

No difference ‘tween night and day
No respite in the bosom of sleep
The air is too thin to breath
The weather’s mild, perfect clarity

A lesson I won’t forget
This gaping tear, a fountain of despair
Now, lick my wounds and dry
Your tears with the carmine strands of my hair

I drown in wintry thoughts
Cold and alone on cutting, icy ground
The gashes cease their bleeding
Frozen warmth, the world softens its sound

Snowblind
I see a single flower bloom while the others wait for spring
In death
And silent, tranquil peace, I hear a lonely raven sing

The Chasm of My Soul

There is a tiny dot of bile that lives in me
Smaller than man in the vastness of galaxies
The abyss I love so dearly stares back
Through my eyes it channels the black

The disquieting air that swept over this town
Lifts at last, crept under your gown
Yet through our violent feuds,
Your dress reduced to rags,
The miasma returned
Wormed through each and every crack

My limbs grow old
My mind turns weak
Friends now turn foes
What smelled now reeks
This deathly stench
Becomes my perfume
No matter what happens
It still reminds me of you

The putrid skulking smell feeds
The chasm of my soul

My mind is weak
What smelled now reeks
This deathly perfume
Reminds me of you

Encircling tension
Chokes my eyes
Releases its grip
Twists black to white

The carnivore that lives
Inside my husk
Slowly eats away
I don’t know what it is
Or what it does
It just grows bigger by the day

Once but a puny spot, now a monstrous cosmic cleft
Infects like a noxious Midas Touch
This nausea pinned me down, grasped my mind
So, please, expunge me, be my harshest judge

Watershed

You have been my companion all my life
Soothed my nerves and calmed my mind
Yet I’ve shunned you and tried to leave you behind
Through the din of the ghastly tempest hail
And the blizzard’s dreadful wail
You have been my companion all my life

My muse, standing tall, through the most catastrophic droughts
I now remember the relief that you brought

Celestial spheres speak in a simple tongue
Radiant symbols of the sun
Show the imminent fork in the road
The somber memoirs of yore
An abattoir for the soul
Reveal the beaten path to your abode

At long last, I’ve come to lie in your bed
I have given up, please hold my hand
I have chosen wrong, now I choose you instead
For my lifetime of mistakes, please forgive me if you can

This river of blood became stagnant over time
Beds of lotuses and rose mallows adorn the site
The moon came and washed the filth away with the tides
In its light I see your likeness and your smile

This river of blood that flows through my veins
Nourished the abyssal depths
living inside me
With all the sorrows that you assuaged
You are now living inside me

At long last, I lie in your ocean bed
I have given up, you hold my hand
I have chosen wrong, now I choose you instead
For my lifetime of mistakes, please forgive me if you can

Epoch of Mourning (2025)

All Fell Silent

 The ancestral sin portends the fate of the race
Cleaved through virtues, left the disgrace

Like a fever it went through our midst
The infected helpless when they were hit
A violent plague to outlive the sick
Our constant companion through thin and thick

In a crucial moment, one can see the true colours of it all
Trauma takes its shape, a grim scene to recall

It wriggles and writhes
You can see it in this light
The shape unveils
The law life entails
It wriggles and writhes
All clear in this light
The shape unveils
The law life entails
One cannot forget

The dreadful first night
Christen and prepare for
Spectators of mankind

All fell silent once this black day came
Disbelief, bolts of quiet pain
The grief and sorrow that haunt my bones
Are part of me, wherever I may roam
This part of me, lives with all just the same
I try to fight it, but in vain

I will not forget
This harrowing time
The cancer that's beset
The remnants of mankind

By nature, we afflicted gathered before the ornate stage
All fell silent once the actors commenced their play
Among the cast, no stranger to us all
The curtain falls, a ghastly funeral pall

Lest we all forget
The treacherous lies
The stage is finely set
The conqueror of mankind

Dear Brother Tristan

Brother Tristan, my dearest friend
I reach out to you to make amends
Please forgive me, I don’t know what to say
But I cannot grasp what I did... to deserve your hate

It’s been so long, I can’t recall your voice
But still, I love you, I have no choice
I have forgotten your face, your quirks, your smile
And without you, I relapse into vice

Were you some mirage, a sophistry of mine?
Did I dream you, or were you part of my life?
I’m longing for closure, bequeath it to me
Or I will haunt you, even as you sleep

I long for redemption, bequeath it to me
Or I will haunt you, even in your dreams
Dear Brother Tristan, what hast thou become?
I feel your presence when I’m all alone
Have you lost yourself in some futile fight
Or have you succumbed to your fiendish pride?

Brother Tristan, I now know what plagues your mind
You’ve renounced our old creeds, left me behind
You have given up, fallen off the brink
You have done what I don’t dare to think

The cycle repeats, the sequence complete
The remnants breathe, the mouth doth speak
But no words uttered, no coup de grâce
A farce, a shadow of what once was

There will be no closure, live till you see

No sect shall grant you the peace that you seek

There is no redemption, live till you see
Kadath will lure you to dark fallacies

Brother Tristan, what hast thou become?
The dream and you have merged into one
There is nothing left behind your eyes
It makes no difference if you live or die

The Procession / Weeping Kin

The cosmos has summoned its child back
Thus, the progeny returned.
Thousands of your kin are gathered here
Travelled from afar and townships near
Our earthly love knows no bounds
So in this very moment, our farewell shall resound

In thy godly wisdom
No soul can comprehend
Created man’s fiefdom
And take as you command
United in mourning

Humbled and earthbound
From night till the morning
The world shall turn around
Authority will surge
Again we’re in discord
And then we will emerge
Worse people than before

A Place in My Dreams

With the earth and sky, a new dawn arose
The marriage completed between dark and light
Dumbstruck, we stood in the radiant glow
While you stood undaunted, surrounded with the hue of night
Behind you the sun, shining in a hulking bow
Battling the dusk and its wicked guile
A magnificent painting, no wasted strokes
Each bout of love brings a new, unsung dye

A paradigm as a piece of art
A fresco of marrow, from bright white to dark
A sculpture, chiseling a tree with its bark
Its roots sprouting into my heart

This guilt, this grief, these thoughts
I will carry for the rest of my life
This light, this colour that you brought
Forever in my dreams they will survive

The wood got brittle, the paint got pale
The gnawing vermin now sluggish and fat
The beauty and gloom drain my vigor away
Humiliate me, chain me to a sullen bed
Some kind of regret, clear yet faint
A wistful refrain stuck in my head
Something foreign, less tangible remains
Bereavement’s precocious match

An iconic image in my mind
Emerging with the dust of time
Bares the error of my ways
Reassembling all the bits
Moulding forms as I see fit
And still, I see your face

This guilt, this grief, these thoughts
I will carry for the rest of my life
These myths, these melodies you brought
Forever in my dreams they’ll intertwine

Until we reunite...
Until we reconcile...